Last Chances
by FMGRE
Summary: Eclipse spoiler!  Bella sets out to experience a few human things while she still has the chance.  Accompanied by Emmett, her last experiences are sure to be funny and entertaining.
1. The Plan

**AN: DON'T READ UNLESS YOU KNOW THE END OF ECLIPSE!! I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING! **

**I got this idea because I was wondering what Bella was going to do over the rest of the summer since she had quit working at Newton's Outfitters in anticipation of being turned soon after graduation. I thought it would be cool if she went out and tried new things before she didn't have a chance anymore. **

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_You don't get a second chance at humanity, Bella. _I'd been thinking about that statement for a while. It was nice actually, to have the leisure to think about more trivial things like this since I didn't need to worry about Victoria and her army of newborns anymore.

I still had over a month and a half before the wedding, and I had done my best to stay as far away from Alice's planning as possible. Ugh. I did have a lot of free time though, since I had quit my job at Newton's Outfitters before school ever ended. Maybe I needed a hobby, something that would fill my time when I wasn't busy with Charlie or one of the Cullens. Times like right now.

I had insisted Edward go hunting for the week with Carlisle and Jasper, telling him there was no reason for him to be anxious. Victoria was dead, the Volturi were most likely not going to pop up anytime soon. Normally, I would have spent time with Alice, but as I said, I was staying as far far away from wedding plans.

Still, it seemed like a waste, I was spending my last several weeks as a human laying on my bed staring that the ceiling. You would think I would be able to find something a little more productive to be occupying my time.

Wait! That was it! Instead of sitting around doing nothing, I should be doing things that I would never again have an opportunity for! I started mentally compiling things that I may want to experience.

I didn't want to do them all by myself though. Who should I call to help me get started on the first idea? No way was I calling Alice; she was already very busy. I snapped my fingers. I knew exactly who to call.

I picked up the phone and dialed Emmett's number. He answered on the second ring.

"Hey little sister! What's up?" Emmett was the perfect choice, he was a lot more likely to go along with any crazy plan I might have, so long as it promised to be funny.

I quickly explained to him what I wanted to do, and wasn't surprised when he sounded more excited than I did.

"Great! So what kinds of things do you want to do then?"

"Well," I paused, "I'm not really sure. I've got a few things in mind, but if you have any ideas I'm open to suggestion."

"Of course I have ideas! Emmett said enthusiastically. What kind of big brother would I be if I didn't?"

Suddenly I thought that maybe this was a bad idea, letting Emmett come up with ideas. He was way too eager. What have I gotten myself into?

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**AN #2: Anything in particular you'd like to see Bella try before she gets turned into a vampire? Leave your idea in a review and if I use it, I'll dedicate that chapter to you. Enjoy!**


	2. Adrenaline and Blood

Chapter 2

Emmett arrived at my house several minutes later. I had been thinking long enough that I was very nervous about what Emmett had planned for me. But, I told myself that this was my last chance to do a lot of these things, so I wouldn't discount any of Emmett's ideas without thinking them through thoroughly.

"Hi Bella!" Emmett called as he pulled himself through my window. Since Edward used my window, Emmett took that as an open invitation for him to do the same.

"Ever heard of a door?" I asked mildly. It didn't actually bother me that Emmett felt comfortable enough to invite himself in, but occasionally I wished the stupid vampires weren't so quite when they did it. Silent entrances were a good way to give the human a heart attack.

"We're going to have a lot of fun with this, thanks for calling me! I wouldn't miss this for anything!" Emmett had perched himself on the edge of my bed with his hands resting on his thighs. He looked up at me eagerly. "What do you want to do first?"

I thought about that. What did I want to do first? I wrinkled my forehead as I thought about it. "Well, I'm not really sure-"

"Great! Well I've been thinking about it, and I think you should get something pierced." My mouth fell open in shock. That was most defiantly **not** the kind of thing I had in mind.

"No way." I wasn't budging on this.

"Come on! Why not? You could get a tattoo then if you prefer." Emmett looked up at me pleadingly.

"No! I already have my ears pierced, and that's more than enough. _I _faint at the first sign of blood and _you_ **eat** things that are bleeding. That is a bad, bad idea. Give me your next one."

Emmett pouted. I could tell he wasn't giving up so easily. "I don't eat people. I only accidentally drink their blood. And I would never accidentally drink yours. I'm offended at the very idea," Emmett actually did look rather offended.

I thought about it. I wasn't really a piercing or tattoo type of person. On the other hand, It might be kind of fun to do something crazy and completely out of character…after all, isn't that what this was about? Then again, Edward was going to kill us when he got home. But he couldn't really object to me getting my last human experiences could he? I resigned myself. "Why do I have a feeling you're not going to drop this Emmett?"

"Because I won't! You _need_ this human experience." And with that, Emmett pulled me enthusiastically out the door.

"No." I crossed my arms in front of my chest. Emmett sighed dramatically.

"Come on sister dear, you _asked_ for my help on this. I've provided the means, the opportunity, and everything you need! Stop being such a baby." Emmett reached over and unbuckled my harness that kept me locked into his monster of a jeep.

I unfolded my arms to protest again. "Emmett…" but I was interrupted by his massive arms scooping me up. I wasn't going to win this argument. He sat me back on my feet outside of the tattoo parlor. He grabbed my hand and pulled me inside.

Instantly, I felt very out of place. The walls were covered with pictures of tattoo designs. Some pictures were posted by the register of…unconventional piercings they had preformed. I studied one of someone who had pierced loops up and down their back and then laced a string through them, kind of mimicking a corset. What kind of sick masochists were these people?

"We could get that done for you Bella," Emmett suggested from behind me.

"Absolutely not!" I exclaimed. Emmett grinned mischievously.

"You know what would look good on you?" Emmett asked.

"No…I don't," I sighed. Emmett could be a real pain.

"That!" He replied, pointing to one of the pictures of someone with a large bolt through the center of their nose. I gave him a disgusted look and walked away.

I moved my browsing over to the glass counter the cash register sat on. Inside they had hundreds of little bars that apparently went through various parts of your body. There was a funny curved one that had a blue jeweled butterfly dangling from the end. I wasn't sure what part of the body the jewelry would be designed to go through. There was a button on the counter, and when I pushed it, the little display shelves rotated revealing even more jewelry.

That's when I saw it. There was a little bar that had a ball on either end. One of the balls were the most beautiful shade of topaz that matched Edward's eyes perfectly. Maybe getting a piercing wouldn't be that bad if I would be able to wear something that pretty.

"You like that one?" Emmett asked eagerly from behind me. "I'll get you that one if you want!"

"Well…" I said falteringly. It really was a beautiful color. "I don't know Emmett. I don't even know what body part that's supposed to go though."

"That's a tongue ring," chimed a voice from behind the counter. I looked up startled. There stood a young girl, I couldn't imagine she was much older that I was. Her hair was dyed pink and she had about every piercing I could possibly think of. I shuddered to think of what kind of horrors lay under her clothes.

"Hi!" Said Emmett, as he eagerly waved at her. "We want to get something pierced on Bella." Oh god. Emmett strikes again.

"Great! Do you know what kind of piercing you want?" She asked, as she finally tore her gaze away from Emmett. I could tell she was wondering whether he and I was a couple.

"Umm…not really," I didn't really think I wanted one at all truthfully. Actually, I was pretty sure I didn't. I had a heavy feeling in my chest, like I was about to do something very, very stupid. If even being in this shop made me uncomfortable, how would I feel bringing a piece of it home with me?

"What kind of piercing do you suggest?" Emmett asked interestedly. He had no more experience with this kind of thing than I did.

"Well, I have about every kind of piercing there is," the girl replied. "It really just depends on your style as to what you like."

"Really?" Emmett asked interestedly, "How many do you have?"

"Including my ears, twenty-seven." My mouth fell open in shock. How on earth could someone have twenty-seven piercings? I unconsciously counted the visible ones; there were nine in each ear, that accounted for eighteen. There was one in her eyebrow, one in her nose, one in her lip, and one above her lip. That only accounted for twenty-two. Emmett came to the same conclusion about the same time I did; only he asked the question I was content on speculating about.

"I only count twenty-two, where are the other five?" Emmett asked, completely oblivious to how dangerous of a question this could be.

"I have one in my tongue," she stuck out her tongue to illustrate. It actually looked kind of cute. "One under my tongue," she flipped her tongue up to reveal a tiny loop through the skin that connected the tongue to the bottom of the mouth. This one made me shiver in revulsion. "Two in my nipples," She didn't have to lift her shirt to show us these, they were already very obvious (she wasn't wearing a bra). "And one in my…" She unzipped her pants.

"Wait! That's okay; we don't need to see that one." My words came out garbled and rushed. She shrugged and pulled her zipper back up.

"I kind of wanted to see it," Emmett said leaning in slightly.

"I don't think Rosalie would approve," I hissed at him. A brief look of terror passed his face, and he stopped pushing it.

"Anyways, which one do you think you'd like?" The girl asked, obviously crestfallen at the mention of Rosalie.

"Well," I whispered hesitantly, "what's the least painful one?" The girl laughed at that, I was sure she could tell I didn't belong in a place like this.

"I think the tongue is a good place to start," she suggested. "It's the fastest healing part of the body, so it won't hurt as long as most piercings. Plus, if you ever decide you don't like it you can just take it out and it'll heal up like it was never there."

I was starting to get a little more excited about the idea. If I got my tongue done, I could get the pretty topaz bar, and if I didn't like it, it would be easy enough to get rid of. "Okay," I finally decided, "Let's do it."

After signing countless release papers saying the parlor wasn't responsible if I died, the girl led me into one of the little booths to the side. She sat me down in a chair and adjusted my position slightly. "Okay, stick out your tongue," the girl commanded. I did, and she carefully put a black mark on the top and bottom of my tongue. Emmett was excited; his bouncing reminded me vaguely of Alice.

"Okay, just hold very still, then be ready to spit into this basin," the girl instructed. She clamped my tongue with long silver tweezers with loops on the end that allowed for the passage of the needle. Then she opened a package, and out came the longest needle I'd ever seen in my life. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I should just forget this whole idea now-

"One…two…three," the girl counted. Then she stuck the needled swiftly through my tongue. It hurt a little, but not nearly as bad as I would have expected. Swiftly, she stuck a bar though the hole she'd made and screwed a ball on the end.

Actually, it didn't hurt that bad. I looked up at Emmett. He was obviously holding his breath, but he grinned manically and gave me thumbs up. The girl handed me a glass of salt water, and I swished and spit it into the basin at my side. That's when I noticed the blood. I hadn't noticed earlier, since I'd been too caught up in the adrenaline of getting a hold poked through me, but now I noticed in full force. There was only a small amount of blood, but the taste of it in my mouth was making me far woozier than just the smell of it. I sat back down on the chair and took deep calming breaths, trying to fight the blackness that faded in and out of my vision.

After couple of minutes the bleeding stopped, and I was able to regain full consciousness. I pointed at Emmett and said, "Ewad is gowing ta kill ou!" He laughed so hard at the way I was talking with my swollen tongue I thought he was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. Until I remembered he was a vampire. Stupid vampires.

I then thought of something that hadn't occurred to me before. How was I going to explain a silver metal bolt through my tongue to Charlie? I wasn't going to be able to hide it since I couldn't even talk normally. Crap.

**This Chapter is dedicated to my sister Jill, for keeping my tongue ring a secret from my mom. And for not laughing hysterically at me when my mom found it in my mouth after four years of having it. **


	3. Easy Adrenaline

**AN: If any of Bella's dialogue is incomprehensible, just try to figure out what she's saying from the context. Take it from me, understanding someone with a recently pierced tongue is difficult at best. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 3

I didn't think it was possible, but on the way home my tongue swelled even more. Now I understood why the bar the girl had put it was almost longer than my mouth. My tongue needed the room to swell.

Emmett thought it was hilarious. "Hey Bella! Say something else!" I just glared at him. This was his fault. Stupid human experiences. He finally slowed to a stop in front of my house. He helped me out of his jeep and sat me on the ground. I started walking toward the house, mentally preparing myself to try to explain to Charlie why I was talking like an idiot. It was because I was one, why oh why did I let Emmett talk me into this?

Emmett called out behind me, "Bye Bella! I'll see you tomorrow! I've got loads more ideas." Then he pulled away from the curb. Coward. I don't think he wanted to face Charlie anymore than I did.

I opened the door, and hung my raincoat on the hook. "Bells? Is that you?" Charlie called from the living room. I sighed and walked in to face him.

"Hi Dad," the words came out fairly clear with only a faint trace of a lisp. I found that if I said short things and really concentrated on my words they were at least comprehensible. Charlie, as oblivious as always didn't even notice.

"How was you day?" He asked cheerfully.

"Fine," except for the fact I now had a tongue that filled my entire mouth. I took a deep breath deciding that telling Charlie first was preferable to waiting. "I ghat my townge purced."

"You what?" Charlie asked knitting his eyebrows. "Why are you talking like your mouth is full?"

Because it is full. Of my tongue. "I…gut…muy…townge…perced," I said slowly. His look of confusion deepened. I sighed and stuck my swollen tongue out.

"Oh!" Charlie's eyebrows shot up. "Umm…why did you do that?" Because my vampire boyfriend's vampire brother convinced me I needed to experience this before I become a vampire myself.

"I dunt knoo," I shrugged offhandedly. Charlie's eyes were bulged and there was a vein in his forehead that was popping out dangerously far. I could tell he was trying to keep his cool for my sake, after all I was technically an adult, one who would be getting married soon.

"Well…umm…alright…are you going to be able to eat?" He asked struggling to find words. Good question. I hadn't thought about that.

"Mwaby," I said uncertainly. Charlie regained his composure and the vein receded. I could almost see him come to the conclusion that he preferred this to a motorcycle.

"Do you want me to make some chicken soup?" He asked peering at my mouth. My tongue was so swollen you couldn't actually see the shiny metal ball. All you could see was my horribly fat, swollen tongue. I settled for nodding, rather than trying to answer with words. Charlie pushed himself off the chair and headed for the kitchen.

The soup was still pretty difficult to eat, I finally settled for spooning the broth into my mouth and tilting my head back so it ran down my throat. Three days of chicken broth? This was going to suck. I was desperately glad I hadn't attempted to eat solid food. Charlie didn't say anything about the tongue ring for the rest of the night as we sat companionably in the living room together. Finally, I went to bed after gargling with the salty water mixture Emmett had bought me at the tattoo parlor. I sat the topaz bar on my dresser, so at least I had something to look forward to about this.

The next morning, I woke up slowly. Finally, when I opened my eyes two topaz orbs stared back at me. "ARRGG!" I screamed as I jerked backwards.

"Shh, shh, shh," Alice said frantically looking uncertainly towards the door. Sure enough, Charlie burst in a few moments later.

"What's wrong Bella?" he asked wildly looking around the room.

"Awice..." I looked around. Alice was gone. "Nufin. Bwd dweam." Charlie looked relieved.

"Okay then Bella...I'll see you after work. Have a good day." Charlie replied as he slowly backed out of the room. Suddenly, Alice reappeared.

"Isabella Marie Swan," she said, looking positively murderous. "WHAT were you thinking?"

"Abowt what?" I asked painfully. My tongue was pretty sore, and it hurt to talk.

"_THAT_," she hissed, eyes flashing as she pointed towards my mouth.

"I downt kwow," I lisped. "Seemed fhun at da time."

"Take it out!" She commanded. "I won't have you lisping down the aisle." Oh. So that's why she was angry. She didn't want me saying my vows with a lisp.

"Rewax Awice," I carefully said, "da swewling gows down in a cowple dways." The fire in her eyes dimmed a little bit. Then a familiar look came over her face. She was looking into the future.

"Okay then," she said, still a little sulky. "As long as its not swollen by then."

I raised a hand. "I pwomise". She lost her fire, then she sat down at the end of the bed.

"Anyways, I thought I would take a day off from wedding planning, I haven't seen you in forever. You want to do something?" I thought about it. Maybe Alice could come with me for my next 'human experience'.

"Swure. Wet me get dwessed."

Alice giggled a little at my speech impediment. "You know, that lisp is pretty funny."

I got dressed and threw my hair up in a pony tail. When I came out of the bathroom Alice and Emmett were both waiting for me on my bed. Emmett's eyes lit up.

"Morning Bella! What's on the agenda for today?" He asked eagerly.

Before I could answer, Alice spoke up. "We're going to the amusement park."

Emmett looked disappointed that I didn't answer myself. I was sure he wanted to make fun of my lisp more. I didn't grab breakfast as I left, I wanted to make sure i didn't puke. I wasn't sure how painful it would be to try to get it around my massive tongue.

When we finally got to the amusement park, Emmett eagerly bounded out of the car with me under his arm. We bought tickets and went in. "Where to first Bella?" Emmett asked, positively glowing with excitement.

"Da woller cowster," I said. Luckily, Emmett seemed to understand 'recently pierced tongue talk' and correctly started leading me to the roller coaster. After waiting in line for a couple of minutes we finally took our seats. They lowered a safely bar and pushed it securely against my shoulders. I had always been too afraid of speed and height to go on a roller coaster before this. After learning to ride a motorcycle though I figured this should be a piece of cake. I didn't even have to worry about trying not to crash during this adrenaline rush.

It started to move and that's when I realized something. My legs were dangling freely so they whipped around in midair. I hadn't counted on this, and I screamed in terror thinking my feet were going to crash into one of the poles to the side of the ride. After a series of flips and turns, the ride was finally over. I looked over and Emmett and Alice, their feet had been dangling the whole time too.

I pointed my finger at a nearly hysterical Alice. "Yew knew I fought my feet were gowing to get hwit!"

She composed herself, and stiffled a few giggled before smiling serenely. "I knew no such thing. It's not like I'm a mind reader." Har har. "Besides, that's what kind of roller coaster this is silly."

For the rest of the afternoon we went on various rides, and I found them to be very exhilarating. No wonder people liked amusement parks, I had been missing out. I realized with a pain of sadness that once I had turned into a vampire this wouldn't seem nearly as exhilarating, since I would probably be able to run faster than the ride. At least I had another experience to check off my mental list.

"Owkay, wet's gow home," I finally said.

"Alright," Alice agreed, "but we should do something fun tonight too."

"Hey, I have a great idea!" Emmett boomed enthusiastically. Alice's face went blank for a moment and then she clapped her hands.

"That'll be perfect! Let's do it!"

"Wet's do what?" I asked confused. Any idea Emmett has can't be a good one.

"The next activity to cross of your list," she replied mysteriously. Stupid vampires.


	4. Nightclubs and Mike

**AN: I forgot to mention...I don't own any of these characters blah blah blah...this applies to every chapter in this story. Yeah...anyways, continuing.**

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Chapter 4

"_This_ was mowst defiantwy nowt on my wist!" I had trouble forcing the words out from between my clenched teeth.

Alice and Emmett had driven me home after the amusement park and instructed me to shower and wash my hair. While I had done that, Alice had wrangled permission from Charlie for a sleepover. He'd only made her promise I wouldn't come back with anything else pierced. At least this sleepover wasn't at the insistence of my over protective boyfriend. In fact, I got the distinct feeling that he would be _very_ unhappy about what I'd done with my week away from him.

After my shower, Alice had dragged me to her house and played Barbie doll with me endlessly. By this time I was terrified as to what would require my looking good when Edward within a hundred mile radius. Alice did my makeup darker than usual, and sprayed my hair until it wouldn't move with out some serious effort. Then, she stuffed me into a flashy red halter top and nice black pants.

Even more ominous, Alice and Rosalie dressed similarly (although they managed to show much more skin and look vastly better than me). Even Emmett was dressed up flashier than normal. I had pouted the entire way to Seattle in the car, until we pulled up to our destination. This was why I was protesting vehemently and refusing to get out of the car.

"You'll have fun, I promise!" Alice argued back, hand on hip. "I have foreseen it…" she added in a mystical voice. I felt angry hot tears threatening to spill out of the corners of my eyes.

"No." I tightened my grip on the door handle. If they tried to force me, I would make a scene. Alice knew that. Unfortunately, she also had the added bonus of seeing what would make me go without a fuss.

"Pleease Bella? For me?" Emmett asked pleadingly. "I want to share this experience with you while you're still human." More likely he wanted to see me fall down as much as possible before became graceful.

"Emmett, why dew yew want may tow dew dis?" I asked desperately.

"It'll be fun, I promise!" Emmett wheedled. "We won't leave your sight, and we'll make sure you don't fall down. Don't you want to have one last memory of what it's like to be clumsy before you never have the chance again?"

"No! Dat is one fing I will newver miss."

To my surprise, Rosalie spoke up. "Please Bella? Just be good, I'll even show you a few simple dance moves that I know you can do." This swayed me a little more. I really would like to get closer to Rosalie.

I sighed defeated, "Awight. But I'm howlding _yew_ pewsonawy wesponsible Awice," I said pointed a menacing finger towards Alice. It was hard to be intimidating when I sounded like the priest off of the 'Princess Bride'. She smiled and helped me out of her Porsche. As if she hadn't known I would finally cave eventually.

Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me into the crowded club. Lights flashed wildly over the dance floor and a heavy beat pulsed. It was so crowded, and so dark I couldn't make out any of the faces that were around me. I held Alice's hand tighter; I defiantly didn't want to get lost in this craziness.

We found a semi-clear spot towards the back of the room and formed a little circle facing each other. "Okay Bella, I'm going to mainly show you things to do with your hands, so that way you don't trip with your feet," Rosalie began. After a few minutes, I was catching on reasonably well and Rosalie nodded in approval.

"That's great Bella!" Alice said excitedly. "Edward is going to be so jealous we got you to dance of your own volition."

"Dat's de onwy weason I'm dancing at all Awice. I down't hawve to make a foowl of mysewl in fwont of him," I replied. I didn't think I could handle it if he had been there to watch my humiliation too.

Emmett and Rosalie eventually wandered off, milling into the crowd and leaving me with Alice. I continued dancing half-heartedly with her, wondering if it was too soon to ask Alice if we could leave. "Don't even think about it," Alice said suddenly. "We haven't even gotten started yet." I guess that answered my question. Stupid future-seeing vampire.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned my head expecting see Emmett. It was defiantly not Emmett.

"Bella!" Mike said enthusiastically. "I never expected to see you here."

"Yeaw, me newither," I told him.

"Where's Cullen?" he asked, trying to pass it off as casual conversation.

"Hew's camping," I replied. He cupped his ear and leaned closer.

"What?" I repeated it louder and he nodded. He looked disappointed. Maybe he was hoping we had broken up.

"Cool, well while you're here you want to dance?" I was about to refuse, when Alice jumped in.

"Go on Bella, I'll find you in a few!" She smiled widely and danced off into the crowd before I could answer. I glowered after her, but my desire not to be stuck alone in the club won over the desire of not wanting to hang out with Mike.

"Thanks for those concert tickets," Mike said conversationally as I moved my arms to the music. "It was awesome!"

"Good, I'm Gwad!" I yelled into his ear. A frown crossed his face.

"Are you alright Bella? You're talking funny," he asked.

"Yewh, I'm fwine Miwke," I replied. "I juwst gowt mey townge perced."

"You what?" He asked, creasing his forehead. I sighed. It was Charlie all over again. I stuck my tongue out and his eyebrows flew up in shock. "Oh! Wow! Umm…wow Bella I never would have expected that. I mean, I only thought that girls that were slu-…I mean I didn't think you were the kind of girl to do that."

I narrowed my eyes at him. I was fairly sure I knew what kind of girl he thought had tongue piercings. "Girwls who awre what Miwke?" I asked dangerously. It was obvious from the look on his face he had drawn conclusions as to mine and Edward's physical relationship being the reason for me to get a tongue ring. As mortifying as it was, the anger over rode that.

"Noo…nothing," he stuttered suddenly looking nervous.

"Swuts?" I asked as I shook my hands in agitation. His face went from red to purple. He looked like he was choking on something, his gazed fixed horrified at my hand. My _left_ hand.

"Whah….What's that?" He choked out. I looked down at my ring.

"Hawvn't you ewver seen an engagement wing Miwke?" I asked, even more defensive. Surely he'd already heard the news, I thought Jessica would have called him first thing. "Diwdn't yew gewt your invitation?" I asked. Alice had sent them out about a week ago, I would have thought he should have received it by now.

"Tyler and I have been out of town for a couple of days," he said, still looking like he was choking on something. "Our mom's finally let us come to Seattle to celebrate graduation since there haven't been any more new murders. But seriously Bella…Marry Cullen? Are you sure you don't want to-"

"Come on Bella!" A deep baritone voice said in my ear. "Let's go dance!" Emmett grabbed my elbow and started leading me though the crowd. Tragically, I'd never know what it was Mike wanted me to do. Darn. Not.

"Later Newton! See you at the wedding," Emmett threw over his shoulder, leaving a shell shocked Mike standing in the middle of the crowd, mouth opening and closing repeatedly.

The rest of the night passed uneventfully enough, the Cullens didn't let me fall down once. It could have been much, much worse. I had defiantly decided though, that I wasn't allowing any of them to pick out my activities from now on. Besides, I knew exactly what I wanted to do tomorrow.


	5. Freefalling

**AN: This chapter is dedicated to ****Dolphinace****, bella&edward101, ****twilightscallingme****, and ****emopup8****. Great ideas, I hope Bella's ready for what you guys have gotten her into…. :-)**

Chapter 5

Emmett woke me up bright and early the next morning as I had requested. I was pleased to discover that the swelling in my tongue had gone down a bit, allowing me to enunciate better. It also allowed me to swallow some yogurt which was a welcome relief from chicken broth.

"Hey Bella," Emmett said after he had barged into Edward's room where I was sleeping. "So I have some really great ideas for today. I was thinking…"

I cut him off before he could go any further. "Nope! I'm picking the rest of the activities from now on; you guys owe me big for last night."

Emmett looked honestly surprised. "We owe you? You had a great time! It's not like we get the chance to break Newton's heart everyday."

"About that," I said narrowing my eyes, "I'm not too pleased. He's my friend, albeit he'd like something more. Regardless, it isn't nice to crush him like that and then leave him there. We probably ruined his night."

Emmett made a noise and replied. "But he was about to ask you out again Bella! Right after you told him you were engaged, he was going to try to change your mind! The little sleaze-ball deserved it!"

"You don't know that's what he was going to ask Emmett. He could have been asking me if I was sure we sent him an invitation for all we know. It's not like **we** can read minds." Emmett still looked unconvinced, but I dropped it for the time being. "Anyways, I know where I want to go today and we should get off early to get there."

I told him my plan and his eyes lit up like a kid at Christmas. After that, he was just as eager to go as I was. Due to his eagerness, his driving was crazier than usual, and we got to our destination an hour early. We walked up to the door and was met by a sign that told us they would be open in half and hour.

"Well darn. What do you want to do for at least another hour Emmett? We're kind of stuck in the middle of nowhere." I said turning back towards him.

"Well, actually I think Alice saw this coming," he said sheepishly pulling a pack of cards from his back pocket. I laughed, and we returned to his monster jeep.

"What do you want to play?" I asked offhandedly. I didn't know many card games, and most of the ones I did know I had learned when I was about five.

"What games do you know?" He asked as he shuffled the cards.

"Umm…rummy…and old maid." Emmett looked incredulously at me.

"You're kidding!" He said disbelievingly.

"Nope."

"In that case, you are learning Texas Hold'em," he replied as he began dealing the cards. It turns out Texas Hold'em is a type of poker. We played for a roll of quarters Emmett had in his ashtray for half an hour. That was all the time it took for me to loose all of my quarters.

"It's amazing," Emmett marveled, "You actually make pretty decent decisions in this game, and yet you still loose every time. It's uncanny. You know…I bet I could make a lot of money betting against you…" he trailed off with a new look on his face that I couldn't quite identify. I was fairly sure he was planning something.

I looked over towards the building in time to see a guy open the front door and walk through. "Hey, I think they're open now," I said, trying to distract Emmett from whatever evil plan he was forming.

It worked remarkably well. "Great! Let's go sign all the safety waivers and crap before the ground school starts," he sang excitedly. Apparently jumping out of a plane from great heights was still fun, even if you're a vampire.

We walked into the little building and were greeted by a man with the ugliest shirt I'd ever seen in my life. It was blue, brown, black, and puke yellow, with splotches and geometric designs scattered across it. It made me dizzy just looking at it. "Hey there, you here to learn to skydive?" He asked jovially.

"Yep! Emmett replied happily, "we need to fill out safety waivers and stuff before the class starts for Bella."

"Wait, what do you mean before the class starts for me?" I asked suspiciously. "Don't you need to take it too?"

"No, I've been doing this for a while now. I'm experienced," he said proudly. I opened my mouth to say something to him but ended up just shaking my head and filling out forms instead. Emmett finished his forms much faster than I did, and he wandered off to talk to the man with the ugly shirt. His hushed tones were making me very suspicious as to what he was planning. I sincerely hoped it wasn't asking for the name of the man's shirt store. I didn't think I could stand looking at a shirt like that for more than a few minutes.

Finally, the ground school started. I listened closely to what I was being told about skydiving safety and tried very hard to commit it all to memory. It turned out that I was going to be strapped to someone else for my first dive, so I really didn't even need to worry. If I froze or messed up, the person I was strapped to would pull the ripcord and help me land.

After the class, Emmett and I got suited up. It took a while to find a helmet that fit my head, but finally, I was ready. As the small plane took off, I started to loose my nerve a little bit. I kept telling myself over and over that there was nothing to worry about; people did this all the time. The man who had greeted us when we first walked into to the door shuffled over to me. I realized that he was probably the instructor that I would be strapped to.

"You about ready?" He asked loudly into my ear. I nodded and he motioned for Emmett to come over. "Okay, we're going to strap you to your brother, and then when I tell you to, I need you to both jump out of the plane."

"Wait, what?" I asked in sudden panic. "I thought I was going to be strapped to you?" It wasn't that I didn't trust Emmett…but what if he messed up? I would become a greasy little splotch and he would walk away unscathed.

"Nope," the instructor continued, oblivious the panic in my voice. "Your brother asked specifically that he be the one you are strapped to, that's what part of those waivers were for. Emmett here has more than enough experience to qualify to do this, so don't you worry about it." He reached over and began fastening me to Emmett's huge barrel chest. I realized just how small I was compared to him, he dwarfed me completely.

Emmett wasn't quite as oblivious to my fear as the instructor was. He leaned down and spoke reassuringly into my ear. "Don't worry Bella; I do this all the time. You'll be safer with me than with an instructor, because if something goes wrong I don't have to worry about saving myself, just you. Edward would kill me if I didn't. I have far more control over the situation like this." I had a feeling Edward was going to kill us either way, so it didn't really matter. But he had a point; Emmett would probably be able to take much better care of me than an ordinary human ever could.

Emmett's concern for my well being touched me, and I suddenly had to blink away tears that appeared in my eyes. What had I done to deserve such a sweet big brother?

We stepped up to the plane door and I tried to mentally prepare myself. I felt dizzier than when I had been getting my tongue pierced, I was pretty sure I was going to be out of adrenaline soon if I kept going at this rate. Then suddenly, we were airborne.

I screamed in surprise, and then exhilaration. This was so much better than any rollercoaster, and a thousand times better than a motorcycle. I was glad I had done those first, because compared to this, they were child's play. The wind whipped past us, and I lost myself in the feeling of gravity taking it's natural course. Freefalling throught the sky was the most amazing feeling in the world.

I could see the countryside stretching for miles around, and the sun shone brightly casting a brilliant light across it all. Then my exhilaration turned to horror. The sun is shining! I turned around in fear, realizing that Emmett was going to be one big sparkly bodybuilder falling towards the earth. If anyone saw, they would immediately realize that something was extremely odd. When I finally focused on Emmett, I realized that my fears were unfounded, his entire body was covered by a skydiving suit, and he had chosen a helmet that almost completely obscured his face. He was even wearing gloves. I breathed a sigh of relief and tried to get my heart to slow.

Then, I felt a rough jerk and I momentarily stopped breathing again. Finally, I realized Emmett had pulled the ripcord, and the parachute had inflated. Feeling silly for panicking, I enjoyed the rest of the leisurely float towards the earth.

* * *

We walked towards Emmett's jeep several hours later. Emmett had insisted we jump two more times before we left. I had agreed because a) I had really enjoyed the experience and b) I didn't have any other plans for today. Emmett was talking non-stop about how I was the most fun thing to happen for a least a decade, and maybe even a quarter century, and how proud of me he was. I on the other hand was exhausted from the rushes I had been getting all day, and all I could think about was crawling into the passenger's seat and passing out. Today was a day well spent.

I fell asleep almost immediately, and when I awoke I realized I was lying in an unfamiliar place. I sat up trying to distinguish my surroundings though my sleep-fogged haze.

"You awake Bella?" Emmett's eager face popped into my vision.

"Arrg!" I yelled, and tumbled backwards.

"Jeeze, no need to freak out on me," Emmett said, looking a little miffed.

"Where am I?" I asked still trying to see into the dark. I swear I saw Emmett roll his eyes as he pulled back a curtain. I was at the Cullen's house, laying on their couch in their living room.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Really well rested actually," I replied, "what time is it?"

Emmett looked at his watch. "About six o'clock. Don't worry about Charlie though; Alice let him know you're staying for another night."

"Oh, okay," I said amiably. I was feeling really, really good after my long nap. Emmett shuffled his feet a little and sat on the table facing me.

"Umm, well I just wanted to tell you Bella, I have a lot of fun hanging out with you. You're a great little sister…anyways, I just wanted to get you something so…" he trailed off and pushed a poorly wrapped package into my hands. It was thin and square but was also kind of heavy. I couldn't bear to take away the look of anticipation on his face so I pulled the wrapping off without complaint.

As I saw what lay inside the wrapping, my eyes again filled with tears. It was a picture of me strapped to Emmett's chest mid-skydive, our arms spread wide with brilliant smiles on both of our faces. The frame was beautiful, and obviously very expensive with the words 'Family' engraved at the bottom. I looked up at Emmett, touched at the gesture. "Thank you Emmett, I love it," I told him. His mouth broke into a familiar grin and he made an embarrassed noise.

"Yeah, no problem," he said gruffly trying to play it off, "Anyway, now that you're awake," Emmett said resuming his mischievous expression; "I have here a human experience that you simply _can not_ miss out on." I stared at what he held in his hand.

"You've got to be kidding! There is no way in hell I'm doing that, you delusional vampire!" I said, trying to look stern. His smile only widened, telling me otherwise.


	6. Lemonade

**AN: This chapter is dedicated to all of you crazy people who wanted to get poor Bella drunk...PeaceLoveTea, melmist, CrazyDreamerGirl**

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Chapter 6

Emmett held a brown bottle in his hand. "I'm not going to drink Emmett, I'm fairly sure Charlie would smell it on me, and then he'd have to arrest me, you know, since I'm underage and everything."

Emmett was unfazed. "That's why I'll have Alice get permission for you to stay another night!" he exclaimed, practically bubbling over with exuberance. "This is one human experience you _need_ Bella. I remember it some from when I was human, and it's _a lot_ of fun."

I gingerly took the bottle from him. It wasn't that I wasn't curious about being drunk, or that I even opposed trying alcohol. I just kind of wanted to wait until Edward was around, I was really nervous about loosing control, and I knew Edward would keep me safe.

"Just try it Bella? Please?" Emmett asked, going into full puppy-dog mode.

"I'll just taste it, okay?" I said, exasperated. I sniffed it. Ick! It smelled really gross. It must taste better than it smells, everyone drinks beer. I'd even seen Charlie drink the occasional one while fishing. I brought the bottle to my lips and took a quick swig. Immediately, I regretted it.

"Oh gross!" Who in their right mind would drink this crap willingly? "It tastes like...like yak piss!" I said, disgustedly. I looked up at Emmett, expecting him to be rolling on the floor at my reaction, but he just looked confused.

"You don't like it?" He asked, scrunching his nose.

"It tastes like death!" I told him.

"Weird, that was the good stuff too," he said taking the bottle back from me. "The guy at the liquor store said it was his favorite."

"Well, if that's what beer tastes like, I'm not missing out on anything," I told him.

"Alrighty, be right back," Emmett said, taking the bottle into the kitchen with him. Out of morbid curiosity I followed. Stacked in the kitchen were boxes and boxes of bottles.

"Oh...my...gosh," I said, "how much alcohol did you buy? How much did you possibly think I could drink?"

"Well..." Emmett said uncertainly. "I wasn't really sure what to buy, so I just bought a little of everything." I inspected the boxes, and was horrified to discover the price tags. I did a little math in my head, it came out to well over two thousand dollars. "How about this one Bella?" he asked, thrusting a yellow bottle at me. I was still mind boggled at the worth of the liquor sitting in the Cullens kitchen, so I took it distractedly. Suddenly, Alice appeared at my right elbow.

"You'll like that one," she said conversationally.

"I doubt it, if it tastes anything like the last one," I said. I looked closer at the bottle. It said Mike's Hard Lemonade. Well, I did like lemonade. I took a drink, ready for it to be as vile as the last one. I was pleasantly surprised.

"Huh, this one isn't bad at all," I said taking another drink.

"Told ya," Alice said offhandedly, "Bring that upstairs with you, I want to try out a couple of hairstyles I've been thinking about for your wedding." I gave her a warning look.

"Don't worry!" she said holding her hands up, "by the time you finish your drink, I'll be through."

"Alright then," I grumbled reluctantly. It was a better deal than I normally got from Alice, so I didn't push it. I figured I would just drink my bottle extra fast, so she'd have to let me free sooner.

I followed Alice upstairs, and flopped into a chair discontentedly. I really didn't want to do this. I looked at my bottle. It was already half done. I took several more big gulps.

"That doesn't count," Alice called from her closet. "You have to finish a whole one before I have to stop." I grumbled and crossed my arms. I wasn't feeling any different than normal though, so I figured one more bottle couldn't hurt anything.

Emmett was at my side in an instant, holding another bottle in his hand. This one was red. "Try this one Bella!" he said excitedly.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's the same brand as the last one, only it says cranberry instead," Emmett explained. Sure enough, it said Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonade. I took a drink of that one.

"Wow, this is really good," I told Emmett. He smiled and grabbed my empty lemonade bottle.

"Awesome!" he said. Alice reappeared in that moment armed with some frightening looking hairpins.

"Out!" she said sternly, pointing towards the door. Emmett zoomed out at vampire speed. I laughed loudly, Emmett running from Alice was a pretty funny site. So funny in fact, I had trouble stopping my giggles. That is until Alice seized my hair with a brush and started pulling it through vigorously. "Okay, I'm going to try a more complicated up do this time..." she droned on and on about my hair. Occasionally she would stop for a moment to let me have a drink of the cranberry lemonade.

She finished with my hair and she stepped back to survey her work. "I don't know Bella, I like it, but I'm not sure it would go with the dress very well. Maybe I should try..." I grabbed the bottle and finished the rest of it in two gulps.

"Sorry Alice! I'm done with my drink, and you promised you'd stop!" I said happily. I still didn't feel any different from normal, except that their house felt like it was a few degrees hotter than normal. Alice made a face and sighed.

"Are you sure Bella?" I nodded vigorously. "Alright then, can I at least dress you in an outfit?" Alice's face was so pitiable I agreed easier than I normally would have.

"Okay Alice," I said. I just wanted her to stop looking so sad.

"Great!" she perked up instantly, and she pulled me towards her closet. "First, I want you to put on this swimming suit," she instructed. A blue string bikini materialized in my hands. I shrugged, who was going to see it anyways? I started striping off my clothes. I pulled my shirt over my head, but it got stuck on my chin. I tried to reach up to pull it off but I lost my balance and tipped over, shirt covering my head. Two cold arms caught me and pulled me upright. The shirt then disappeared from around my head, and revealed a bemused Alice.

"Let me help," she said, and she quickly tied the suit in place.

"I cuddah done dat," I said. Then I clapped my hand over my mouth. "Oh no! I tink my tongue is swelling again!"

"Stick it out and let me see it," Alice said. I did, and she inspected it. "It looks okay, maybe you should go rinse it though. I nodded and headed towards the door. "Uh Bella?" Alice said. I turned and she had a huge, evil grin on her face, that looked strangely reminiscent of a look often found on Emmett's face. "Aren't you going to put some more clothes on?"

I shrieked and ran back to Alice's closet, banging my hip on her dresser in the process. She laughed and handed me several more articles of clothing. The first was a blue halter top that matched the swimsuit rather well. Then a black pair of capri pants and cute pair of flat slides followed. Finally, she gave a a pretty jacket that complimented the rest of the clothes really well. It never occured to me to ask why I was wearing a swim suit. I turned again to go to the bathroom and rinse my tongue.

After I was finished, I looked up into the mirror. I looked really good, except my face was really red. I shrugged and headed downstairs. I took a step down and my knee wobbled and I stumbled against the staircase. Emmett stood in front of me before I even started falling forward.

"Don't fall down the stairs Bella," Emmett said. "Just in case..." he trailed off and scooped me up and flew me down the stairs. We entered the living room, where Alice, Rosalie, and Esme sat on the couches around the television.

"Are you hungry Bella?" Esme asked with a motherly smile.

"A little," I admitted. She stood up and headed towards the kitchen. A loud gasp sounded, and she reappeared next to Emmett.

"Why on earth is there an entire liquor store stacked in my kitchen?" she asked glaring at Emmett. His eyes widened, and they began speaking in low quick tones that were too fast for me to catch. Finally, she turned towards me, her eyes still narrowed.

"Emmett isn't forcing you to do this, is he Bella?" She asked. I shook my head.

"No, I just though I'd experience as much as I could before I don't have a chance anymore..." I squirmed uncomfortably under her appraising gaze. Somehow, her motherly concern made me feel much guiltier than my own parents did.

"Let me see it," she sighed. I stuck my tongue out to display the bar that went through it. She frowned, and I fidgeted uncomfortably. "I'll make you something easy to chew." She disappeared back into the kitchen.

"Close one, huh Bella?" Emmett grinned. "Want another drink?"

"Uhh..." I started.

"Great!" He shoved green bottle into my hand.

"Mike's hard limeade?" I asked skeptically. "Mike has entirely too much time on his hands." I tasted it. Not bad actually.

"We're going to play poker, ok Bella?" Alice asked, already dealing the cards.

"Why do you even bother asking me if you know already know what I'm going to say?" I asked, sinking into a chair across from Rosalie. Emmett handed me a stack of chips and explained the value of each to me.

Four games, and two Mike's Hard lemonades later, I was out of chips.

"I'll be right back," I said standing up. I took a step forward and the whole room swayed. "Oh my god, is it hot in here?" I asked Alice. When did Alice get up?

"Are you ok Bella?" Alice grabbed my elbow.

"I'm fine, I'm just a little dizzy," I took another couple of steps and swayed side to side. I giggled happily. I heard a sigh and Alice picked me up and carried me to the bathroom.

When I finished, Alice helped me back to the living room. "Let's play a new game," Emmett said looking gleeful.

"K! What game," I asked. Emmett looked sneakily from side to side.

"Strip poker," he said conspiratorially. I started laughing so hysterically I fell off the side of the couch and landed on my butt.

"Alice...I need to go back to the bathroom!"

TO BE CONTINUED...


	7. Poker Night

**AN: This is for all of you who guess what's going to happen next. Well done TaylxBayl, luvvampluvdog, hayleygirl, logannicole93, a rose by any other name715, Ms.XJacobXBlack, BellaCinderella, PeaceLoveTea.**

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Chapter 7

After Alice brought me back from the bathroom…again, we settled down at the table.

"What are we doing?" I asked looking from one face to the next.

"Playing strip poker, remember?" Emmett asked. I just laughed hysterically at him again. He stared back stoically.

"Seriously?" I said when no one else joined in my laughter. Emmett nodded. "Uh uh, I'm not getting naked."

"That's okay Bella, you don't have to!" Alice said from beside me. "That's why I had you put on a swim suit. Whoever gets down to their swimsuit first looses. Eventually, one person will end up with everyone else's clothes."

I considered it. I wouldn't have to get naked, and it sounded like a lot of fun. I wasn't sure why I thought it would be fun, I was normally very self-concious about my body. "Well, as long as I don't have to get naked I guess…"

"Cool!" Emmett started dealing the cards, and I took another drink. When did I get another bottle?

Unsurprisingly, I lost the first hand. Emmett got my Jacket, and Alice's and Rosalie's right shoe. I would have given him my shoe too, but it was way too hot in their house.

There was a tense minute where Alice attempted to strangle Emmett for trying to fit his sneaker-clad foot into her strapy designer shoe. Finally, Emmett agreed to wear it on his hand. He then tied my jacket around his head, unable to get even one arm though it.

The next round, Rosalie won. I forked over my shoe, and watched Emmett give her Alice's high heel. Alice gave Rosalie the sweater she worn over her tank top. I decided it was time for another trip to the bathroom, so I stood up unsteadily. The floor felt really uneven, I'd have to ask Esme about it.

I tripped over the couch on my way out, and once I'd righted myself I promptly walked into the doorframe. Emmett choked on his laughter causing him to fall backwards into the piano. There was a loud crack and everyone's eyes widened. Emmett stood up carefully to survey the damage. Luckily, he'd only destroyed the bench, leaving the actual piano unharmed. Even so, the prospect of Emmett's continued existence looked dim.

"Ooh, Edward's gonna kill you..." I sang obnoxiously. Then I whirled around to head back towards the bathroom and ran into the doorframe for a second time. Alice sighed and carried me to the bathroom. When I was done, we returned to the living room for the third round. The shattered piano bench had disappeared. However, another bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade had magically appeared.

Rosalie dealt the cards and took a drink as I looked at which ones I had gotten. Possibly the worst hand in existence. Sigh. Alice won with a full house and gleefully took my other shoe. Emmett went to hand over his sneaker, but Alice shook her head.

"I want your shirt!" She declared.

"No way, I didn't get to pick what piece of clothing I got from you!" He protested.

"You didn't ask," and she gave him a very frightening glare. He gave her his shirt.

"Rosalie, I want your left shoe." She silently handed it over. Alice cheerfully dealt the cards out. I picked them up and glanced at what I had been dealt. I did a double take. I had a full house. I grinned evilly.

"Does the phrase 'Poker Face' mean anything to you Bella?" Alice asked.

"Nope!" I grinned. She shook her head. I won that hand easily. "I want your other shoe Alice," I told her happily. She handed it over and I stuck my foot into it. I looked at Rosalie. "I want Alice's other shoe." She gave it to me and I slid my foot into it. I noticed vaguely that the color of blue matched my halter top really well. Alice had probably seen this coming.

I took a moment of consideration. Emmett had my jacket, one of his shoes and his pants. I didn't want my jacket back; it was way too hot in this house to wear it. I made a mental note to find the thermostat and turn it down. I opened my mouth to ask Emmett for his shoe but Alice stopped me.

"Ask for his pants Bella!" She whispered in my ear. I giggled loudly.

"That's not very nice!" I whispered back.

"Oh come on Bella, just do it," Rosalie said from across the table. Suddenly, it didn't seem like such a bad idea.

"I want your pants Emmett," I declared. He took them off and handed them to me, grumbling something about being drunk.

"Getting her drunk isn't as much fun when it turns on you, is it Emmett?" Rosalie asked snottily. I let out a bark of laughter and swayed from side to side. I held his pants in my outstretched hand and looked at them.

"Well now that you got them, you have to wear them!" Emmett declared. I shrugged and stood up unsteadily. When I lifted my leg to step into them I fell face forward and was caught yet again by an exasperated Alice. She helped me into the pants, which were about four times to big for me. Finally, we settled back down and Alice handed the cards to me.

"Alice," I whispered. She looked at me. "I need to pee again!"

"Again Bella?" She asked uncertainly. "Is this normal Emmett?" She looked up at him.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," he said offhandedly. Alice carried me to the bathroom again, and helped me out of Emmett's pants. Then she helped me undo the top button of mine. When I was finished, she helped me back into them, and carried me back to the living room.

I picked up the cards to try to shuffle them and they slid right though my hands. They all scattered on the floor. "Oops," I said peering down at the floor.

"Got it!" Emmett said and gathered them up vampire speed. "You want me to deal them for you Bella?" He asked. I nodded and he quickly passed them out. I looked thoughtfully at the cards in my hand. They were all black. I was going to win again! At the end of the round, Emmett had a straight, Rosalie had two pair, and Alice had one pair.

"I've got a royal flush!" I cried out, throwing my arms in the air. "I win!"

"Uh Bella?" Emmett asked, "There are clubs and spades here. It's only a flush if they're the same suit. And it's only a straight if they're in order."

"Oh…alright then. I forgot. Who wins then?" I asked.

"Me!" Emmett replied evilly, "And I want your shirt!"

"I don't know…" I said. I couldn't put my finger on it, but for some reason that seemed like a bad idea.

"That's the rules Bella!" Alice sang out. I shrugged and pulled the halter off, leaving me in my bikini top, Emmett's pants, and Alice's shoes. I handed Emmett the halter top and he went to tie it around his arm.

"No, no, no!" Alice chided. Rosalie also had a mischievous glint in her eye. "You have to wear it, that's the rules."

"It's too small!" Emmett protested.

"It stretches silly!" Alice told him.

"Here, let me help you," Rosalie added silkily. They converged on him, and suddenly, he was wearing a blue halter top. It was stretched to the limit and it only came down to the bottom of his ribcage, leaving his stomach exposed. His muscular shoulders bulged out either side of the shirt and the little sparkly ornament that decorated the top twinkled merrily on his collar bone. They had tied my white Jacket around his waist, just below his hipbones, on top of his black swim trunks. He looked ridiculous.

He glowered angrily, probably at the loss of his manhood. "Fine," he said exaggerating the word, "but in that case, I want both of your pants." Alice and Rosalie exchanged looks and handed him their pants. Rosalie's swim bottoms were red and very revealing and Alice's were yellow and bright.

"Okay," I said after I gained control over my hysterics, "Now whose turn is it to deal…those things?" I pointed at the card deck.

"Mine," Emmett said triumphantly reaching out for the card deck. "Jeeze Bella, you are really drunk." I started laughing hysterically again, and Alice reached over to steady me.

"Am not! I feel just fine!" I told him.

"Can you walk a straight line?" He asked looking suddenly less sulky and more mischievous.

"Psh, of course, I can," I said as I stood up wobbling slightly. I concentrated really hard on walking forward and was able to take several steps before collapsing to the ground. I rolled over and stared at the ceiling laughing my head off. "Maybe I'm drunk," I told Emmett.

He picked me up and sat me back down on the couch. I went to pick up my cards and Alice stopped me. "I don't actually think we're going to have time for another hand."

"Why not?" I asked. She looked towards the door, and as I watched it opened and Edward stepped into the house with a stunned look on his face.

"Edward!" I squealed happily, "I'm drunk! Come play strip poker with us!" I thought about it for a beat. "Actually, Alice, can you take me to the bathroom again? _Then_ we can play another hand." Edward's mouth remained open, and he seemed to be looking for something to say. Carlisle and Jasper stepped around Edward to survey the scene before them. Their mouth's dropped open too.

"Uh, Edward?" Emmett said, sounding almost sheepish, "I can explain…"

"I seriously doubt that," Edward growled.


	8. Edward Returns

**AN: I'm going to dedicate this chapter to...Mike's Hard Lemonade. Cuz I love the stuff. Seriously though kids...don't drink. At least as much as Bella. It's bad news the next morning! I'd also like to take this oportunity to say, if you haven't read my other story, ACCUSED, you should go onto my profile and read it. I've gotten some amazing feed back on it, and I'm very proud of it. Check it out!**

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Chapter 8

"Alright Emmett, go ahead and explain why I just came home to my brother wearing nothing but boxers and a halter top playing strip poker with my topless drunk fiancé?" His eyes narrowed and he added, "who you've apparently taken skydiving in the last twenty-four hours?"

"Well actually, she's not topless…she is wearing a bikini top. She wouldn't have gotten completely naked; we were only playing to see who got down to their swim suit first. And she wanted to drink, honestly! I just bought it for her. And the skydiving was totally her idea, I just drove her there and paid for it, but I made sure she jumped with me so I could make sure nothing happened to her! And the strip poker…she agreed! She wanted to! And…it was Alice's idea!" He said wildly pointing towards Alice.

I rolled my eyes at him; he was being a really big baby. Unfortunately the eye rolling set me off balance again and I fell sideways off the couch. "That's not true Emmett, it was your idea, remember?" I called from the floor. I struggled to sit up as I whispered, "Alice, I really need to pee again."

"Edward, you need to calm down," Alice said as she scooped me off the floor, "Sit down and we'll be right back." She then shot a meaningful glance at Jasper. I assumed he was the reason all of Emmett's body parts were still attached.

Alice carried me past Edward and he narrowed his eyes even further. "Are those Emmett's pants?" I giggled, and we continued towards the bathroom. When I was finished, Alice didn't make me put Emmett's pants back on. She carried me back to the living room and sat me on the couch next to Edward, whose eyes were strangely black. Esme had appeared from somewhere while we were gone, so the entire family sat around the table.

"Why are your eyes black Edward?" I asked as I tried to crawl onto his lap. I ended up kind of half sprawled across him and the couch. "Weren't you supposed to be off hunting?" Realization dawned on me, "Oh! You're mad, don't be mad wittle Edward," and then I tried to tickle him. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Are you trying to _tickle_ me?" He asked incredulously.

"Maybe…" I trailed off. "It's probably because I'm drunk. I don't know why I'm drunk, I only had two of those Mike's thingies."

"She had eight," Alice sighed and turned to Emmett. "I told you to stop giving them to her!"

Emmett was still wearing my halter top. I cocked my head at him. "You know Emmett, I think the sparkly butterfly goes really great with your rippling muscles." Then I dissolved into hysterics again. Then I remembered something else. I turned back to Edward. "Ooh! Edward!" I said excitedly, "I have something to show you!"

His eyes flicked to Alice, who looked like she was concentrating really hard on something. "What?" He asked suspiciously.

"This!" I stuck out my tongue. Edward's eyes widened so far I was afraid they would pop out.

"Emmett," he said his voice even and calm, "You had better start running. And I when I catch you, I swear to god no one will be able to put you back together."

"Kind of like Humpty Dumpty," I said happily. A roar of laugher came from around the table, and Edward looked like he didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or maim something.

"Like what?" Jasper choked out.

"Humpty Dumpty," I explained patiently. "You know Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, all the king's horses and all the king's men, couldn't put Humpty together again." This caused a new explosion of laughter from around the table. Even Carlisle was having a hard time keeping it together.

"Alice," I whispered loudly, "Alice!" She turned towards me. "I need to pee again!"

"Carlisle, should she be going this much?" Alice asked.

"Yes, it's perfectly normal to urinate more often after drinking large amounts of alcohol. Don't give her any more though, she's a small girl and too much more could give her alcohol poisoning. Also, you need to start getting her to drink water; otherwise she's going to wake up feeling really bad tomorrow." Alice nodded and went to pick me up. Edward wrapped his arms around me.

"I'll take care of her," He said protectively. He glared at Emmett and said, "But I _will_ find you later." I squirmed impatiently in his arms.

"Just let me get her dressed for bed, please Edward?" Alice asked. I pulled myself out of his arms and stood again unsteadily.

"Alice," I tried to sound serious, "I need to go to the restroom, _now_."

"Right!" she said and she scooped me up before Edward could protest. I used the bathroom yet again, and Alice stuffed me into a tiny pair of sleep pajamas with a matching tank top. Then she poured a glass of water down my throat and forced me to brush my teeth. This was considerably more difficult than it normally was. Toothpaste somehow ended up all over the counter and the mirror, and for some reason I was having a much harder time than normal keeping it in my mouth. Alice had to keep me from drooling all down the front of my shirt, while at the same time supporting my weight. I was having a more difficult time than usual keeping my balance.

After Alice declared me ready for bed, she made a move to pick me up again. "No, I can walk Alice. It's just down the hall," I protested.

"You can barely stand Bella, and you want to walk?" She said exasperatedly.

"I'm fine," I waved my arm at her and started carefully towards the door. I was making some progress when a loud crash sounded from downstairs. I was instantly alarmed. "What was that?" I asked, looking wildly around.

"Nothing much," Alice replied smugly. "Edward just caught up with Emmett."

"Aww, poor Emmett," I said taking another unsteady step. "Most of it wasn't his fault, I asked him to." Suddenly I was swept off my feet and I was being dangled in the air.

"Tell him that!" Emmett cried, as he held me in front of him, keeping me between him and Edward.

"It's my fault," I slurred, "I asked Emmett to help me do all these things. Besides, you're the one who gave me the idea."

"_I_ did?" Edward asked looking stunned. "When did I ever say I wanted to you to start risking your life by pulling ridiculous stunts?"

"You said I only got once chance to be human! Well, I'm trying a few new things while I still can!" Edward's face became pensive.

"You know, you don't have to be changed so soon, we _could_ wait-"

"No," I cut him off, "that's not it at all. I'm ready to be changed, but while I'm waiting I'm just experiencing a last few things." For some reason my words weren't coming out very clearly, my mouth just couldn't form them correctly. I got my point across though.

He nodded. "Alright. I won't kill Emmett then. I mean, Humpty Dumpty," he added evilly. It occurred to me that Emmett might have just gotten a new nickname.

"Thanks Bella!" Emmett said whispering in my ear. "You just saved my life!" And he twirled me around in the air. The movement made me feel really motion sick and I suddenly became very aware of the amount of liquid that sat in my stomach.

"Emmett…" I began, but Alice snatched me out of his hands and ran me to the bathroom just in time. I emptied my stomach of its contents (Which were mostly liquid and colorful) and instantly felt much better. I felt a cool hand on my forehead and I looked up into Edward's concerned topaz eyes.

"Are you alright?" He asked anxiously.

"Yep, I feel much better now," I replied smiling. "I think I need Alice's help to brush my teeth again though." He laughed and helped me off the floor.

"Are you sure you don't want me to kill Emmett?" He asked hopefully. I shook my head.

"No, he was only doing what I asked him too. Although you could have let me throw up on him for spinning me." I smiled weakly.

"Actually," he said tucking a stray hair behind my ear, "Alice had a vision of you doing exactly that. She would have let you too, except she didn't want any to get on the carpet."

Alice helped me get ready for bed again, and Edward finally whisked me off to sleep in his obscenely large bed. I however, wasn't tired. In fact, I had a very different activity than sleep in mind. Edward laid me gently into the bed and crawled in next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed contentedly.

"Thanks for not killing Emmett," I said quietly.

He laughed softly and replied, "It was close there for a while. I didn't know who to kill when I walked in. Alice and Rosalie were pants-less, you were wearing a bikini top and Emmett's pants, and Emmett was wearing a too small halter-top and swim shorts. Not to mention I kept getting images from Emmett's mind of you two jumping out of a plane and him giving you alcohol." When he put it that way, it was pretty funny. I went into another round of giggles and Edward pulled me closer. I was probably lucky Jasper had been there; otherwise we really would be trying to put Emmett back together again.

"You know what? I'm not tired." I told Edward.

"Try to rest anyway; I believe you need to 'sleep it off'." He told me. I giggled. I was defiantly not tired. In fact…

I clumsily climbed on top of Edward and kissed him eagerly. He laughed and gently tried to lower me on the bed. "I promise, I'll kiss you a lot tomorrow," he pushed me down. "Now sleep."

"How about," I said edging back up, "you kiss me lots now?" I reached my mouth up and tentatively nibbled his ear. He inhaled sharply and stopped trying to lower me back onto the bed. "See? Isn't this fun?" I breathed into his ear.

"Bella…" he breathed desperately, "You're drunk…"

"Yeah, and you're a vampire," I whispered playfully in his ear. I lowered my mouth to his again and he didn't resist. I slowly lowered myself to the bed and pulled him over on top of me.

"Bella…" he said again, less certainly. "I'm not going to do this while you're drunk. Let's talk about it tomorrow, alright?" He asked pleadingly. I sighed, he was probably right. I had wanted to wait…for some reason. I couldn't think of why.

"Fine," I said sulkily, and I removed my hand from his waist. Suddenly, I was overcome by another urge. I'm not sure why I did it really, but I reached around and pinched his butt. Well, tried to anyways, it's hard to pinch marble.

"Bella!" Edward said, shock and amusement echoing in his tone, "Did you just-"

I never got to hear the rest of his sentence because I was already passed out, snoring loudly on Edward's shoulder.


	9. Hangover

* * *

I opened my eyes to sunlight streaming in through the huge window that composed one of the walls. My first thought was 'Where am I'? My second thought was, 'Kill me'. I moaned and threw the blanket over my head. It was pulled down a second later, and Edward stared down at me. The sun hit my eyes and I moaned again.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, looking somewhere in between concerned and amused.

"Kill me," I told him.

"All in good time, love," and he smiled fondly and patted my cheek. I threw the blanket back over my head. The top of the blanket moved, and I saw Edward peering curiously under the covers.

"Put that down," I told him grumpily, "The light makes me want to puke." He smiled and disappeared. I tried to remember why my head felt like it was being compressed in a vice. Then I remembered, and wished I hadn't.

"Oh…My…God," I whispered, cheeks flaming. I had played strip poker with Emmett, Alice, and Rosalie of all people, made a complete fool of myself in front of the entire family and…holy crap. I vaguely remembered being in bed with Edward and…surely not. It was all kind of foggy, and had a dreamlike quality to it. I must have dreamed that part for sure.

The blanket was suddenly removed from my head, and Edward pulled me up and wrapped his arms around me. "Better?" He asked.

The room was now completely dark. "Much," I agreed. I closed my eyes and willed my brain to stop trying to push its way out of my head.

"You want some breakfast?" Edward asked in my ear. I thought about it. Nope.

"I don't think I could keep it down," I admitted.

"At least drink some water for me?" Edward looked at me pleadingly.

"I'll try," I sighed. He handed me the glass and I took a couple drinks. I really was thirsty. I lay back down.

"So," Edward began conversationally, "did you have fun last night?"

"Ugh," I replied. He laughed softly.

"You can't think of anything at all that was the least bit fun?" He pressed. I opened an eye trying to figure out what he was getting at.

"Oh God, I really tried to pinch your ass didn't I?" I asked, mortified. Edward laughed slightly louder this time and I retreated under the covers. My face was flaming with humiliation. He pulled the covers back again and kissed me softly on the forehead.

"Surely it wasn't that bad?" He asked, amusement radiating from his voice. "You can't tell me you didn't think that was at least a tiny bit fun…" he let his voice trail off. I groaned loudly.

"If your just going to mock me, you can go cuddle with Emmett," I told him. He gathered me into his arms.

"Well _I_ thought it was fun," he murmured into my ear.

"You're impossible," I told him grudgingly. I wasn't feeling quite as embarrassed anymore at least. I was however feeling incredibly nauseous. "You didn't by any chance get a picture of Emmett last night did you?" I asked hopefully.

Edward smiled broadly and said, "I didn't, but Jasper did. He said it was an opportunity he couldn't pass up. I think he's going to trade him the picture for one Emmett has of him in drag."

"I'll have to ask him for a copy later," I mused. Suddenly, my nausea increased and I jumped out of Edward's arms and ran towards the bathroom. I threw up again, and dry heaved for several minutes. Finally, I looked up to see Edward's concerned figure hovering over me.

"Even if I wasn't turning into a vampire soon, I'd never drink again," Edward laughed and kissed my forehead. He helped me back to bed and I lay down again, feeling slightly better. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Edward called for whoever it was to come in.

Alice danced in carrying a wastebasket in one hand, and bottle of aspirin and a glass of water in the other. "Morning Bella!" She singsonged. I'd never wanted to kill anyone as much as I wanted to kill Alice at that moment. Stupid little cheerful vampire.

"Sit up Bella," she directed. I did and was overcome by another wave of nausea. This was ridiculous; I didn't even have anything left in my stomach. She held the wastebasket out to me, and I proved my 'nothing left in my stomach' theory wrong. When I was finished yet again, she held out the water and aspirin to me. I took them gratefully and sank back down into the bed.

"So I've been thinking about how to get even with Emmett for getting you drunk Bella," Alice said conversationally.

"Good," I replied with feeling, "he deserves to die after the way I feel this morning. But today I'm going to enjoy another human experience."

"Really? Which one?" Edward asked interestedly.

"I'm going to sleep all day," I grumbled and I threw a pillow over my head. Edward's laughter shook the bed.

* * *

I thoroughly enjoyed sleeping all day, and finally Edward dragged me out of bed to go home to Charlie's. I took a shower first, made myself presentable, and allowed him to drive me home. 

When we got there, Charlie wasn't back yet, so I went to work fixing his dinner. I wasn't feeling as nauseous , but the thought of most foods turned my stomach. So I ended up going with 'bland' and made grilled cheese sandwiches.

Charlie got home around six and he smiled when he saw I had dinner ready. We ate in companionable silence while Edward watched TV.

"So uh, I was thinking Bells," Charlie said nervously after I cleared away the plates, "It might be nice to-" his sentence was cut off by the doorbell. I went to open it and Alice stood beaming.

"Aren't you going to ask me in?" She asked cheerfully.

"Uh, sure," I said uncertainly stepping aside. Charlie peeked around the corner and he smiled happily, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Hey Alice! I'm glad you're here. I was just about to see if Bells and Edward wanted to have a little bonding activity tonight, you're welcome to join if you want."

"That'd be great Charlie," Alice said, bouncing on her heels. "What are we doing?" I glared at her, she already knew exactly what we were doing, and that's why she'd appeared on our doorstep suddenly.

"Well, I was about to see if you guys would be up for bowling," Charlie said, his eyes shining in excitement. I internally groaned. Bowling was a sport, so I was sure to humiliate myself. But I couldn't refuse, since Charlie was obviously excited to go, and he was actually making an effort to be nice to Edward and spend some time with us.

"Wow, um, that sounds great dad," I said trying to infuse sincerity to my tone. Luckily, I was saved by Edward.

"That does sound great," He said smiling, "I've never actually been bowling before; I'd love for you to teach me." He was so sincere I almost believed him. Almost.

Charlie's grin widened. "Great! I'll just go get my shoes."

I glared at Alice. "You knew this was coming."

"Yep! Don't worry Bella, it will be fun," she assured me. I doubted that. But I put on a smile for Charlie's sake. If he was making and effort, so would I.


	10. Bowling for Charlie

**AN: Sorry it took me so long to update, finding time at my job has been hell! First week of school, and my office is busy for it! Anyways, thanks for all the great reviews and enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 10

Charlie drove us all to the bowling alley. Thankfully, Alice chattered energetically the entire way, penetrating what would have otherwise been an awkward silence. When we reached our destination, my head was still hurting. What was I thinking last night?

I sucked it up, and decided to drink some water; Carlisle had told me hangovers were mostly caused by dehydration. If that was true, I intended to drink a bathtub full of water. The noise from the bowling alley made my head pound even more. I had the strange urge to yell at the sky that I'd been punished enough. I decided I'd rather suffer in silence than look crazy, so I just morosely followed Alice to an orange plastic bench.

Charlie and Edward went to the counter to pay for an alley and rent us some shoes. I sat down next to Alice and turned towards her skeptically.

"So are you going to tell me why you popped up at my house in time for Charlie's bowling announcement?" Her eyes widened innocently.

"You make it sound like I have ulterior motives! Maybe I just wanted to spend some time with my sister." She sounded incredibly sweet and sincere. I didn't buy it for a minute.

"You haven't torn yourself away from wedding planning for _weeks_ except to show up for the times I have conveniently happened to embarrass myself. So I'm going to ask you again, what gives?" I narrowed my eyes and tried to give her my fiercest look. Trying to intimidate a vampire however, is a lost cause.

"I just happen to enjoy bowling Bella! Really! I mean, I admit I had a vision of Edward walking in on that scene last night, and that was just too priceless to prevent. We're just here to have a good time and bond, right?" With that, she gave me a dazzling smile and skipped up to Charlie and Edward. She was the master of evasion. After several minutes of waiting, I saw the three of them heading over to my bench, the bright smile still lighting up Charlie's face.

Mentally I gave myself a pep talk and plastered a fake smile on my face. Charlie reached me and pushed a pair of hideous shoes at me. "Here you go Bells! Put these on and I'll show you kids how to bowl."

"Great Dad!" I said cheerily. Edward raised an eyebrow at me and smirked. He knew how unhappy I was to be bowling. I looked at the shoes. They were orange, green, and brown. Unfortunately enough, they smelled exactly like you would expect shoes of that coloring to smell like. By the time I convinced myself to put them on my feet, everyone else was already waiting.

Charlie picked out a ball for me (ironically, it matched the shoes). He showed me how to hold it, and how to throw it. It actually didn't seem that hard. Charlie wrote all our names down on a sheet to keep score. He went first, I went second, Alice went third, and Edward went fourth. I had the sneaking suspicion Charlie had put the list in order of preference. At least in Edward's case.

Charlie went first and got a spare. I stepped up, dreading my turn. Someone or something was going to get broken, I knew it. I tossed the ball down the alley and it rolled strait down the center. I closed my eyes at the crashing noise the falling pins made.

"Great job Bells!" Charlie whooped and I opened my eyes to see the damage. Holy crap, I got a strike. I looked at Edward and Alice in shock.

Edward leaned down and brushed his lips on my ear, "Great job," he whispered, giving me a soft quick kiss on my temple. Charlie glared. Alice beamed.

Alice went to bowl next and she also got a spare. I was surprised she didn't get a strike, considering vampires were good at everything. Edward's turn came, and I braced myself for another loud explosion of pins. My head was really not liking this bowling thing.

He threw the ball down the lane, but it veered off to the side and rolled into the gutter. He wrinkled his forehead in confusion. Charlie stifled a laugh, and then started to school Edward on the finer points of bowling as promised. The superior note to Charlie's voice as he explained it to Edward had Alice and I in fits of silent giggles. Edward maintained his interested and respectful façade…just barely.

Charlie got another spare, and Edward scowled in the corner at whatever fleeting thought that went through his mind. On my turn, I again got a strike and another headache. Alice knocked down all of the pins but two, and Edward again rolled two gutter balls. The look on his face was priceless.

The look on Charlie's face was hilarious. It continued like this for the rest of the night, Charlie smirking at Edward's inability to bowl, and Edward scowling at Charlie's thoughts. And I kept knocking down the pins almost every time. By the time were finished I was holding my pounding head from all the strikes I had gotten, Charlie was smirking self-satisfied, Edward was scowling, and Alice looked as if Christmas had come early.

I won by a large margin, Alice came in second, Charlie came in a close third, and Edward finished dead last. He didn't even break a hundred.

"Great job Bells!" Charlie said throwing his arm around me and shaking me slightly. The jostling motion just made my head hurt more. "Who's up for another game?"

"I am!" Alice cried throwing her tiny hand in the air. If looks could kill, I would have disintegrated Alice into dust.

* * *

Our second game was rather uneventful until the very end. I had thrown another strike (It must have been karma getting me back for drinking), and Edward was congratulating me again. He leaned down and gave me a soft, loving kiss on the lips, and I looked up from my daze to see Charlie staring open mouthed. I had been so intent on Edward's dazzling; I had even forgotten we were in a public place, much less in front of my dad.

I blushed bright red, and the bowling ball slipped out of Charlie's hand.

To be fair, Charlie really shouldn't have been surprised to see us kiss, I knew he'd seen other innocent pecks before. He should have realized that, along with getting married, we would kiss. He was the one who gave me a sex talk for crying out loud!

At any rate, the bowling ball slipped out of Charlie's hand, and fell directly on Edward's foot. Unnoticed by my dad, I saw a small crack appear up the side of the ball. Edward stood there for a beat and then clutched his foot in pretend agony.

"Oh my gosh Edward!" Charlie said flabbergasted, "I'm so sorry! It was an accident. We should get you to the hospital." Charlie went to Edward's side to 'help' him to the car. Alice and I threw off our bowling shoes and trailed after, given each other sidelong glances. This wasn't good.

"Charlie?" Alice trilled in her melodic voice. "Can we take him to our house rather than to the hospital? Our father prefers to treat us himself."

"Of course," Charlie mumbled distractedly. "How's your foot Edward? I am so sorry; it just slipped out of my hand."

Edward put on his best brave face and said, "It doesn't hurt badly anymore Charlie, I don't even think it broke anything. It's probably just bruised."

The rest of the car ride was spent with Charlie hurling apologies to Edward, and Edward assuring him that it wasn't that bad. We pulled up to the Cullen's house and Charlie helped Edward out of the car and up the porch.

"Really, I'm fine," Edward said smiling at Charlie, "Thank you for the bowling, it was quite fun." And then Edward limped into the house.

"I'm going stay here with Edward and see how his foot is," I told Charlie. He nodded and I added, "Alice will give me a ride home, and she can bring someone to pick up Edward's car."

"Alright, if your sure," Charlie replied. I nodded encouragingly and Charlie climbed back into his cruiser and pulled back down the driveway.

"Whew," I said, letting out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. Edward chose that moment to stick his head back out the door.

"I think you'd better come take care of me," Edward said silkily, "since my foot hurts so much." Alice rolled her eyes at me. "Oh, and by the way," he continued, "I owe you from last night." And the wrapped his arms around me, and pinched my butt. My eyes widened in surprise, and before I could kill him, he disappeared as a blur into the house. I was defiantly going to get him back.


	11. Intermission

**AN: Yeah, I know. I haven't updated in two months. Funny story...I'm applying for graduate schools which is a very long and in depth process. I'm also studying for the GRE's, trying to learn spanish, volunteering for a victim's advocate program, and doing my job. However, I haven't given up on this story, it's just going to be sporatic with updates. But I haven't given up, I promise. Can anyone guess what Bella and Alice have planned for revenge? If you guess right I'll PM you and let you know if your guessed it, and dedicate the next chapter to you. Also, give me some more ideas for human experiences, the more ideas I have hopefully the more inspiration I'll have to write. Hence quicker chapters. We'll see. Anyways, this is just kind of a little intermission before I get back into the main story line. **

* * *

**Chapter 11**

"I know what you're thinking Bella," Alice said conversationally. I looked sideways at her.

"Really? Are you a mind reader now too?" Alice grinned unrepentantly.

"No, I'm just really, really good. You just put Edward on your revenge list didn't you?"

I cracked a smile and let a small giggle out. "Yeah, I did."

"I want in," she replied simply. We both giggled.

"What do you suggest?" I asked. Alice was probably much better at this than I was. She smiled broadly, and scooped up, and ran me a little bit into the woods.

"There, now no one can listen in on us," she said. "Now, let me tell you what I was thinking."

* * *

I was right. Alice was much better at this revenge thing than I was. It only took a few minutes for us to come up with a plan. It was my job to keep Edward and Emmett busy tomorrow, so Alice could prepare without having to worry about her thoughts being eavesdropped on. 'Operation Revenge' would commence tomorrow evening.

After we finished our quick planning, Alice brought me back to the house so Edward didn't get suspicious. I wandered up the stairs and Edward peeked out of his room, grinning cheekily.

"How's your foot?" I asked sarcastically.

"I don't know Bella, I'm in an _awful_ lot of pain," he said with an exaggerated sigh.

"Poor baby," I crooned as I wrapped my arms around him. "Shall I make it all better?" It was then that I noticed Edward slowly backing me towards the bed. A thrill of excitement ran through me, and I tried to concentrate on quashing it. 'Not until after the wedding' I sternly told myself. Then we were at the bed, and Edward slowly lowered me on it.

'Never mind!' My over-excited hormones cheered. I realized that Edward was making my job of distracting him from Alice's thoughts much easier.

He kissed his way down my neck and pressed feather-light kisses onto my collarbone. My heart rate sky-rocked and my breathing increased to the point where I was gasping for air.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" He asked, brushing his lips against my sternum. I didn't answer. Truthfully, I wasn't sure if I was capable of streaming intelligible words together at this point.

"I think I have an idea of another human experience I could help you with," he whispered into my ear. I gasped and pulled myself against him. I realized that I had to stop this now while I still had a chance.

"Not until….after…the wedding!" I rasped. I sounded pathetically uncertain and he chuckled against my skin, making every nerve ending painfully sensitive.

"I know, you silly girl," he murmured at he worked his way across my throat to my other ear. "But just because we're waiting to do _that_ doesn't mean we can't do _other_ things." Made sense to me.

"Alright," I said dreamily. I wasn't sure what had brought this on, but who was I to complain? He slipped his hands underneath my shirt and played with the soft skin on my stomach. I suddenly reached up and found his lips with mine. He kissed me back enthusiastically and I moved my leg up to rest on his hip, holding him to me.

His cold fingers moved further up under my shirt and he paused hesitantly. Then he tentatively brushed the underside of my breast with the very tips of his fingers and I gasped in sudden ecstasy. He laughed through his own labored breathing and we smiled stupidly at each other. Edward slowly moved his hand back down and rested his splayed hand on my stomach.

"Well, that was new," I whispered in his ear. He laughed and pulled me against him, kissing the top of my head affectionately.

"Thank you," he whispered in my ear, "I've wanted to do that for a while."

"What made you decide to do it?" I asked, extremely curious as to what brought this on.

"I'm not sure," he admitted sheepishly, "but all I could think of was you in that blue bikini top last night, and I just couldn't help myself anymore."

I smiled smugly to myself. I'd just made Edward loose his famous control. I couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit proud of myself. By far, this had been the best human experience I'd had yet. Too bad I had to exact my revenge on him tomorrow.

Edward waited until I was no longer panting labouredly and he helped me off the bed. "Come on, lets get you home to Charlie," he said, smiling broadly. I'm sure the look on my face matched his; the goofy grin just wouldn't go away.

"Alright," I agreed. "I'm going to need a lot of rest for what I've got planned for tomorrow." Edward eyed me suddenly suspicious. I just smiled back angelically.


	12. Movie Marathon

**Holy crap, two chapters in a row after a two month break! It's a freaking miracle. Seriously. Thanks for sticking with me.**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

I woke up the next morning curled in Edward's cold embrace. "Good morning," he said smiling down at me. As always, he looked beautiful.

"Hey," I croaked, trying to clear the sleep from my head.

"What's on the agenda for today?" Edward asked innocently. He knew I was planning revenge on him and Emmett. He also thought he could get me spill my guts because I'd just woke up, so I decided to play along with him for the time being. Truthfully, I didn't have anything in particular planned until the evening, but I tried to think up something to do that I would enjoy and they would not. They would think I'd gotten my revenge, and I'd have lulled them into a false sense of security. Excellent.

"Movie marathon," I said with a yawn. Surprise flickered in Edward's eyes.

"What kind of movies?" He asked, leaning in close. Edward was trying to dazzle me! That was fighting dirty. I pushed away from him and rolled out of bed.

"You'll see!" I sang as I scooped up my clothes and rushed out of the room. After my shower, I walked back into my room, still toweling off my hair. Edward was still on my bed where I'd left him. He stood up and wrapped his arms around me.

"Now will you tell me about this mystery movie marathon?" He asked. Luckily, I'd come up with a pretty good idea in the shower. I opened my mouth to tell him, when suddenly we were interrupted by a banging on the window. We turned around and were met with the site of Emmett pressing his face against the glass, looking forlorn and pathetic.

"Can I come in?" He asked opening his eyes slightly, giving him the appearance of a sad puppy dog. Edward sighed and opened the window for Emmett. He climbed in positively beaming.

"What are we doing today?" Emmett asked excitedly. I suppressed an evil chuckle which threatened to come out, and instead smiled sweetly.

"Do you guys _promise_ to help me with my plan today?" I asked. Emmett, oblivious to my evil intentions bobbed his head excitedly. Edward looked a little more wary, but grudgingly agreed.

"Alright then!" I exclaimed once I'd extracted both of their promises. "In that case, today we'll be-" I was cut off by another loud knock on the window. I turned around, and was truly shocked to see Rosalie sitting in the tree outside.

"Are you going to open this window sometime today?" She asked testily. Even sitting in a tree she managed to look haughty and beautiful. Emmett hurried to the window and let her in. "Alice said I'd have fun with whatever activity Bella has planned for today. So here I am. What are we doing?"

"Well-" I began again, but was interrupted by yet another knock. This time it was Jasper outside in my tree.

"Hasn't anyone ever heard of a doorbell?" I asked exasperatedly. Edward rolled his eyes and pushed open the window.

"Might as well leave it open, we've only got four of the seven here," I told him. This earned me another eye roll.

"Alice told me to come on over for whatever Bella has planned," Jasper said by way of explanation. I was very glad Charlie was already gone to work; I didn't want to have to explain why half the Cullen family was gathered in my room when clearly they hadn't come through the front door.

"Anyway," I started again, "Today I want to have a-" The doorbell rang. At least someone knew how to use it. Edward cocked his head and listened.

"It's Esme," Edward sighed. "Alice told her to come over as well." By this point, I knew Alice had planned all of this. She had to of. I guess when you're a future seeing vampire who is unable sleep; planning this sort of thing is what you do all night long. We walked down the stairs and I opened the door to a smiling Esme.

"Alice told me I should come over and enjoy whatever you have planned for today Bella," she sang with a beaming smile. I beamed back at her, it was impossible not to happy when she smiled like that.

"Come on in Esme," I said ushering her in. "I was just about to tell everyone what we were going to do today. But first," I said fixing a stern gaze on everyone, "Are we expecting anyone else?" Everyone shook their heads slowly.

"Alright then," I declared, "Today we are going to have a sappy chick-flick marathon." This was met with a collective groan from the males and an excited squeal from the females. I noticed Jasper looked less dismayed than Emmett and Edward. In fact, as I looked closer, he seemed a little bit smug. I shrugged it off and pointed my finger at Emmett and Edward. "You promised already. Don't even think about it." Their faces fell.

I ushered the Cullens into the living room and popped my first sappy chick-flick choice into the DVD player. We settled down to watch it with a minimum of grumbling from the guys. In fact, there was actually no complaining at all from Jasper. I looked sideways at him, trying to figure out his angle.

Edward leaned down and whispered in my ear, "I don't know what he's planning, but he's been singing _Yankee Doodle_ in Chinese since he got here." I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to send the message that if he ruined my last chance for a good cry at sappy chick flick, there would be hell to pay. He smiled cheekily at me.

* * *

Halfway into the second movie is when I noticed something odd. I glimpsed Emmett out of the corner of my eye and did a double take at the expression on his face. If vampires could cry, he would be bawling. His mouth was turned downward, his expression looked as if someone had just ran over his puppy. Occasionally, his lower lip would tremble and his eyes would widen.

I turned to Edward to ask him what was going on, but when I looked up, his face mirrored Emmett's. I looked back and forth from Edward to Emmett, gaping at the looks of absolute sadness on their face. Even I wasn't that broken up that Lizzie McGuire couldn't go to the prom. Heck, I envied her; I wished I hadn't had to go to the prom.

Then they both started to sniffle. This was too much; all of my focus was now riveted to the two heart broken vampires that sat on either side of me. That's when I noticed the look of pure look of hilarity on Jasper's face. Then I understood. Alice had stepped up my fake revenge plan for me, and sent Jasper over to use his powers. She'd also sent over Rosalie and Esme to make sure it didn't seem odd that Jasper had shown up. I tried to hold it in, but a small snort escaped before I could stop it. Edward looked down at me and saw my pained expression from trying to keep in my mirth. His eyes suddenly focused and swung around to Jasper who was trying hard to look innocent.

A look of comprehension crossed Edward's face and I knew Jasper had let his thoughts slip. Somewhere in the exchange Esme and Rosalie's attention had drifted to the drama unfolding in my living room. Emmett's attention however remained riveted to the TV.

"That's the saddest thing I'd ever seen!" Emmett exclaimed and broke out into dry sobs. Everyone else broke into gales of laughter and I nearly passed out from lack of air. This finally succeeded in attracting Emmett's attention and he looked over to see what everyone was laughing about. His expression of sadness slowly faded and one of embarrassment replaced it.

"I'll see you later Bella!" Jasper called, already halfway to the door. Emmett and Edward followed menacingly. Rosalie shrugged and sorted through my piles of movies.

"You want to watch _The Princess Bride_ or _Everafter_ next?" She asked.

"_Everafter_, I think," I said smiling a little at the real revenge plan for tonight. And now the boys wouldn't be expecting a thing.


	13. Intermission 2

**AN: Ah yes, another chapter. I know its been another long stretch. But in between wrecking my brand new honda civic on a deer and studying for the GRE...it's been busy. This is another filler chapter, which is why it took so long, because its boring. The next one should probably be more interesting though. I hope.

* * *

**Esme, Rosalie, and I finished the rest of our chick-flick marathon without further interruption. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett had never returned. I figured they would show up soon, full of excuses as to why they hadn't made it back. That was okay with me, I'd have my revenge soon enough. 

As predicted, Edward and Emmett reappeared in my living room half an hour after Rosalie and Esme went home.

"Hey Bella!" Emmett sang cheerfully. This would have been fine had I not thought I was alone in the house. I shrieked and dropped the pot I had been holding. Edward of course, caught it before it ever hit the ground.

"Are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack?" I asked once my heartbeat had slowed to a normal pace.

"Nope! So, now that you've had your revenge, can we get back to the fun stuff?" No hard feelings from Emmett at least. Edward wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed my temple. I guess I was forgiven from him too. Unfortunately, I didn't think they were going to be to ready to forgive me after what I had planned for tonight. I mentally shrugged, deciding to enjoy their good mood while it lasted.

"Sure, I have lots of fun planned for tonight," I said smiling brightly. It would be fun for me anyways.

"Cool, what are we doing?" Emmett asked eagerly.

"It's a surprise. I'll be over to your house right after I fix dinner for Charlie." I crossed my fingers hoping he wasn't going to push for any more details. Thankfully, he seemed to accept my answer and he went home to wait for me. Edward stayed to help me prepare dinner.

"So," Edward said conversationally, "Alice had some interesting thoughts this afternoon." I choked on the water I had been drinking. Crap. When my coughing fit had subsided I turned to him with the most angelic look I could muster.

"What kind of thoughts?" I questioned innocently. Edward bent down close to me and kissed the tip of my nose.

"Save it. You've been caught."

I sighed dramatically. "Oh well, I tried." Edward smiled and pulled me close to him. I lay my head on his shoulder and he rubbed little circles into my back.

"Tell you what," he said after a few moments. "I'll keep your plan to myself so long as you leave me out of it." I pulled back to look into his eyes.

"Why?" I asked suspiciously.

Edward smiled, showing off his perfect teeth. "Because I wouldn't mind watching Emmett make an idiot out of himself. I'm still not terribly happy with him for getting you drunk and breaking my piano bench."

I slowly smiled. I couldn't believe Edward was letting me get away with this. "Deal!" I agreed.

After dinner, Edward drove me to his house. Alice announced that we were all going to play a game and went to find everyone. I leaned against Edward as we waited for the rest of the family to gather when something in between the couch cushions caught my eye. I reached in and pulled it out. It was the picture that Emmett had given me of our day of skydiving.

I smiled fondly at the picture and the sweet thoughtfulness that had prompted his giving it to me. Suddenly I felt really bad about the plan I had to get even with Emmett. Could I really do that to him?

"No!" echoed Alice's voice from upstairs. She flew down the stairs at breakneck speed and stopped in front of me. "No! This was going to be perfect! I was going to have blackmail pictures for years to come! You _can't_ change your mind."

"Sorry Alice," I said, with a twinge of regret. "I just can't do it. It's too mean."

"Damn it," She replied sulkily.

The rest of the night passed uneventfully, we played lots of board games (most of which Edward or Alice won). At the end of the night Edward drove me home and dropped me off with a promise that he'd be back soon.

I went into the house, said goodnight to Charlie, and got ready for bed. When I finished brushing my teeth, I went into my room expecting to find Edward already there. I was surprised to find my room unoccupied. Needing something to fill my time, I decided to answer my email. I was booting it up my computer when I heard the telephone ring downstairs. I heard some shuffling as Charlie got out of his chair to answer it. Several minutes passed and I figured Charlie should be off the phone, so I tried to log onto the internet.

I answered my emails and still Edward wasn't back yet. I sighed then reluctantly turned off the lights and climbed into bed. A little while later, I heard my window push open and suddenly I was encircled by Edward's cold arms.

"What took you so long?" I murmured, snuggling into his embrace.

"I just had a couple of things I had to take care of," he said. "I have a surprise for you. My own contribution to your human experience."

This got my attention. His last contribution had been the best one yet. He must have picked up the increase in my heart rate, because he chuckled and kissed my neck.

"Not that kind of experience," he said, laughing softly. "Although, that is something to consider."

"What is it then?" I asked curiously.

"It's a surprise," he said, "Go to sleep and you'll find out tomorrow." Then he started humming my lullaby in my ear, and I quickly fell asleep, wondering exactly what it was he had planned.

* * *

**AN: The revenge is still coming. If you can guess what the revenge is, I'll feature you as a character in the next few chapters. You'll never guess though.**


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